I’m still here.
I’ve been asked a few times lately where the newsletter has gone. Fair question.
The honest answer is that I’ve been in a kind of hibernation since Art Source. Not dramatic. Not falling apart. Just… tucked under a quilt (one of my own). Processing. Living. Letting it all settle.
Also, in typical me form, I never actually wrote about Art Source afterwards. I built up to it for months, stepped fully into it, stood in my own light, and then wandered off without so much as a proper debrief. So that’s coming. I promise. It deserves more than a rushed paragraph.
This past year has been a year of loving myself as an artist. That feels strange to write, but it’s true. This time last year I was getting out of my own way. I was stepping forward properly, not apologising for taking up space. It was big. It was visible. It was brave.
Now it feels different. Now I’m learning how I actually operate.
I’m paying attention to seasons. Not just the ones outside the window, but the internal ones. The times when I am expansive and producing and talking and sharing. And the times when I go inward. Reading. Thinking. Not forcing work for the sake of saying I’m working.
I’ve been reading more than making. Letting ideas percolate. Watching what comes up when I am not pushing.
At home, life keeps moving. Our youngest is sixteen today. Sixteen! Next week our eldest turns nineteen. Nineteen!! I don’t know how that happened and I am finding myself remembering the memories of them both when they were small.
There’s something about marking time through your children that sharpens everything. It makes you notice your own growth too. The risks taken. The skin shed. The woman you were a year ago compared to the one sitting here now.
I am still here.
Still an artist. Still making, even when it looks like I’m not. Still committed to this path, even when I walk it more slowly, more privately.
More soon on Art Source. More on what is brewing. More work when it is ready.
For now, this is just me raising a hand and saying hello again.
Ax
