Stitching Myself Back Together
It all begins with an ending.
This isn’t just a return to creating. It’s a return to my true self.
For years, fabric, textiles, fibres were there in the background — a quiet comfort, something I’d dip into when time allowed. But they weren’t centre stage. I let other things take up space. For the last few years — after moving into our newly built home, with a room for my own studio included in the designs — it has been wonderful, but, part of me was missing. Without getting into the details, because who really wants to read that rambling, I now realise I was a shadow of myself. Unmotivated, chronic exhaustion, and everything else, resulted in me just surviving and existing. I wasn’t joyful, I wasn’t embracing the life I had at my fingertips. I had dreams of things that I would do someday ‘when I have time’ or ‘when I feel better’.
That ‘someday’ arrived, not with a bang, but with a quiet certainty (thanks to HRT and a cocktail of supplements to boost my ailing system). With the pill organisers also came a sense that if I didn’t acknowledge this part of myself — the creative part, the curious part, the part that breathes easier, laughs freely, feels fully, when I am creating — then I’d always feel slightly off, not whole.
So here I am.
A Journey Back to Creativity
I’ve stepped fully into my practice as a textile and fibre artist. I have left the past where it belongs. I’m stitching, not just for the sake of making, but because it reconnects me to who I’ve always been. It’s slow, intentional, and energising. There’s joy in it. There’s release. Most of all, there’s ME.
The process feels new and familiar all at once. I’m noticing colours differently. I’m seeing the world in a brand new light. I’m thinking in thread. I’m finding my rhythm — not just in the physical act of stitching, but in how I move through my days. I won’t say I’m rediscovering, because I don’t know if I ever acknowledged this or if I ever embraced this side of myself as fully as I am now. I now openly embrace and celebrate my identity: I am an artist.
Embracing the Art Community
The most unexpected thing? The sense of community. There’s such warmth in the art world — especially among those in the local art groups — and being back in that space feels like belonging. It’s not a competition; it’s a camaraderie. It’s sharing what we’re making, cheering each other on, and admitting when we’re stuck. Bouncing ideas off eachother, sharing the joy and the heartaches. Not gatekeeping the knowledge or information we find, but making it openly available to anyone who wants it.
This journal, from my Studio, will hold pieces of all of all of this. The work. The thoughts. The beginnings and the messy middles.
Thanks for being here. This past few weeks have been the start of something great.
— Ax
